Can you describe your authentic self? Do you even know what it means to be your authentic self? Your authentic self is the real you; the genuine you; the spontaneous and free version of you. There are many contributing factors from your history that may have prevented you from being your true, authentic self. So, what do you think? Do you know your innate, authentic self?
Try listing the qualities of your authentic, true self. For example, here are some of my authentic qualities: outgoing, welcoming, encouraging, inviting, open-minded, creative and expressive. However, in my history I was shamed for many of these qualities. I was taught that I was too much; that my personality was too big.
Therefore, throughout the years I have struggled to discover who I most authentically am and to learn to accept these parts of myself. For example, on a scale of outgoingness I am at the very high end. I have slowly learned to enjoy and embrace this aspect of me. And, as I have aged I have learned how to monitor my energy by paying attention to social and cultural clues. Many are intimidated by my strong personality qualities and I am much more accepting of this truth now.
Most important is to identify and take ownership of your authentic self. If you are not clear, I encourage you to take time to learn about these aspects. Without this self-awareness I don’t believe you truly can be happy and free. You may have similarities to others and yet you are uniquely you! I encourage you to discover and embrace your own special qualities. Next is to surrounding yourself with close people that accept, embrace and love you for your authentic self.
Examine your most significant relationships. Is your authentic self encouraged, accepted, appreciated and celebrated by these people? Or do you often feel put down, shamed or judged? Do you tend to adjust yourself by trying to accommodate the other person so they will accept you? This person could be your partner, parent, sibling etc. In effect, you are basically denying and shaming your essence. If this continues for too long you may forget who you really are. Burying your authentic self is a form of self-abuse. This self-denial and neglect often causes one to feel depressed.
I encourage you to save yourself. Start remembering who you really are. If you don’t know, get some help. As you dig your true self out from the grave you will come back to life. Then slowly you can figure out how to be your genuine self in your relationships. If you find that being who you really are with those closest to you brings great fear, that is normal. Seek support from wise people who can help you begin to take risks or set boundaries in those relationships. Never dim your light for someone else. Your light not only blesses others it ignites your soul! Shine your brightest!
Deborah Day M.A. Blog 