Mother Dearest

As I think about the month of May many meanings come to mind.  From symbolic days such as Mother’s Day and Memorial Day; to National Brain Tumor Month and Mental Health Awareness Month, to name a few.   I am going to reference some things about mother’s and our mental health.  I figure that will be a loaded topic for many!  There are many aspects to mother’s.  We can talk about the mother you each had or have, since we all were birthed by one.   The type of mother you were parented by has great impact on shaping you into the person you are today.  If you were blessed enough to be raised by a loving, consistent, nurturing mother then you were granted one of your many birth rights.  What I mean by that is that each and every one of you merits such an experience with the mother who raised you.  You were born with the right to receive that from your mother.  You were and are good and needed to experience unconditional love from your mother.  If you received that from the earliest stages of development, then there is a good chance you have a core belief about yourself that tells you that you are ok, even good.  You probably believe you are loveable.  It is much easier to manage the rough roads of life when you have the core belief that you are good and lovable.  The impact of the mother’s reactions and responses to her child are crucial to the child’s future emotional development.  While many factors contribute to your wellbeing, the role of “mother” cannot be discounted.

If your experience with the mother of your childhood was not so consistent and loving, a scar is often left within that is difficult to heal.  If your mother was critical, harsh, neglectful, abusive or abandoned you in one way or another; often you feel bad, or defective.  This can make you feel like something is wrong with you.  Maybe this isn’t something you are amply conscious of enough to put into words; and for many of you, you are very aware of what I am speaking about.  The longer one goes through life without recognizing the negative effects that have been created by the mothering you received the more your present life is guided by your negative learning’s.  This injured belief affects every aspect of your life, from the relationships you choose to be involved in to your own personal self-care.  And, what for me is a great concern, is that you can accidently pass these negative core beliefs onto any children you may have or raise.

The good news is that healing can occur at any point in your life.  Certainly, the younger you are when you begin the restorative and recovery process, the better.  It is your birth right to feel better about yourself.  While this brief blog in no way covers all the ways one can be injured in their formative years; and certainly doesn’t discuss all the ways we can grow and heal, my hope is that it will be a reminder to you that it is never too late to feel better about yourself.  If you were/are blessed to have a more positive experience with your mother then be sure to celebrate that wonderful blessing.  If you were one of the many who were parented by a mother who was too wounded herself to parent you well, then please know that there is hope.  There is always hope.  Seek healing for yourself.  The resources for this healing are plentiful.  Chapter Five in my book, BE HAPPY NOW, is a good avenue to begin the self-nurturing process.