What’s So Special About Me?

Let your light shine

Can you describe your authentic self?  Do you even know what it means to be your authentic self?  Your authentic self is the real you; the genuine you; the spontaneous and free version of you.  There are many contributing factors from your history that may have prevented you from being your true, authentic self.  So, what do you think?  Do you know your innate, authentic self?

Try listing the qualities of your authentic, true self.  For example, here are some of my authentic qualities:  outgoing, welcoming, encouraging, inviting, open-minded, creative and expressive.  However, in my history I was shamed for many of these qualities.  I was taught that I was too much; that my personality was too big.

Therefore, throughout the years I have struggled to discover who I most authentically am and to learn to accept these parts of myself.  For example, on a scale of outgoingness I am at the very high end.  I have slowly learned to enjoy and embrace this aspect of me.  And, as I have aged I have learned how to monitor my energy by paying attention to social and cultural clues.  Many are intimidated by my strong personality qualities and I am much more accepting of this truth now.

Most important is to identify and take ownership of your authentic self.  If you are not clear, I encourage you to take time to learn about these aspects.  Without this self-awareness I don’t believe you truly can be happy and free.  You may have similarities to others and yet you are uniquely you!  I encourage you to discover and embrace your own special qualities.  Next is to surrounding yourself with close people that accept, embrace and love you for your authentic self.

Examine your most significant relationships.  Is your authentic self encouraged, accepted, appreciated and celebrated by these people? Or do you often feel put down, shamed or judged?  Do you tend to adjust yourself by trying to accommodate the other person so they will accept you?   This person could be your partner, parent, sibling etc.  In effect, you are basically denying and shaming your essence.  If this continues for too long you may forget who you really are.  Burying your authentic self is a form of self-abuse.  This self-denial and neglect often causes one to feel depressed.


I encourage you to save yourself.  Start remembering who you really are.  If you don’t know, get some help.  As you dig your true self out from the grave you will come back to life.  Then slowly you can figure out how to be your genuine self in your relationships.  If you find that being who you really are with those closest to you brings great fear, that is normal.  Seek support from wise people who can help you begin to take risks or set boundaries in those relationships.  Never dim your light for someone else.  Your light not only blesses others it ignites your soul!  Shine your brightest!



What Beliefs Are Controlling You?

A belief is an idea that you are convinced about whether you are conscious of it or not. Our beliefs are at the core of our being. They are the driving force behind so much of who we are and how we behave. It is imperative that you identify the beliefs that are driving you to live as you are and be sure they are in alignment with your values.

Your beliefs may be positive or negative; however, many of your beliefs about yourself are held at the subconscious level. When your beliefs are influencing you subconsciously, you are not in control of them. Being that these beliefs have so much influence on your well-being, it makes sense that you would want to identify them so you can change the ones that are not helpful. This is done by bringing these subconscious beliefs to your conscious awareness.

There are many ways to do this. One way to become more aware of your beliefs is to ask yourself what you are telling yourself about a situation. Let’s say that you have a business interview tomorrow and you know you are nervous. You try and calm yourself. You can also ask yourself, “What am I telling myself about this interview.” You may find that when you explore this you hear things like, “I’m not good enough”, or “I don’t deserve good things to happen to me.” These are just some examples. The point is to search for the subconscious beliefs that may be interfering with you being your best self.

When you identify these negative beliefs it is important to correct them. Change the belief to what you want to believe. It is ok if you don’t believe it yet, but at least make the correction. The correction for “I’m not good enough,” might be “I have the skills needed for this job and am an excellent worker.” What a wonderful correction. Then begin to read those corrections so your mind begins to take them in. This can be a powerful beginning to changing your negative beliefs.

Ways To Stop Sabotaging Yourself – Tip One


It seems so many people are feeling dissatisfied in their lives. We hear it daily on the many newscasts about individuals making so many negative choices: from dishonesty, to addictions, to murders, to suicides etc. More so, we hear it closer to home, such as in our neighborhoods, workplaces and in our social situations. And, many of you reading this are struggling with general dissatisfaction and discouragement. When we feel this way we tend to make decisions that hurt us in one way or another. What can we do to feel more satisfied and in control of our lives? Well, for starters, since we cannot control all the external events that occur, let’s start with an aspect we can do something about: ourselves! This is one area you DO have the power to effect positive change!

First and foremost I encourage you to become aware of what you are telling yourself…your internal dialogue. Whether you are conscious of it or not, you are chattering to yourself all the time. Unfortunately, most people don’t take the time to notice the quality of their internal chattering. You can think of this internal chattering as your internal parent. This parent is either critical or nurturing. Pay attention. If you don’t make the effort to listen to this internal dialogue then you may be subconsciously sabotaging yourself. I encourage you to stop and take a moment every hour and check in with your internal dialogue. Notice if your internal parent is critical or nurturing. If you are being hard on yourself, correct your dialogue. The more patient, kind and encouraging you can be with yourself; the better you will feel and behave. The internal messages you are sending yourself are central to your ability to live a more full and productive life. Give yourself the gift of positive self-talk and experience the freedom it brings!