Ways To Stop Sabotaging Yourself – Tip two

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Hopefully, you have been paying attention to your internal dialogue and making positive corrections when needed. Along with tip number one, another way to stop sabotaging yourself is to identify your values and goals. How can you attain the life you want if you are not clear about what is most important to you? Just going through the motions of daily life is living passively. It is easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life and before you know it another year has gone by. Can you relate? As I state in my book, “one is often so busy doing life that it is easy to avoid evaluating whether you are putting your energy in the directions you value most.” Taking time to gain clarity about what is important to you is essential.

A simple way to assess if you are putting your energies into what is important to you is to record how you spend a usually 24-hour day. You can do one for your usual work day and one for a non-work day. Write down all your activities. Include time for sleep. Be especially mindful of how you use your non-working hours. Then on a separate sheet write down what you deem are important areas in your life. Some examples are children, spouse, family, working-out, gardening and the like. Now review your work and non-work days and notice if your available time is used for these important areas. The more congruent these two are the happier you will be.

As you are more aware of what you value, then you create goals that will adhere to and reinforce those values. Goal setting is a way of assuring that you are progressing in a manner that aligns with your values. If you notice that you spend the majority of your free time after work watching TV and neglecting your desire for going on a bike ride or spending time with your partner then try making gradual shifts. Maybe one night you will commit to riding your bike for thirty-minutes. Or maybe you will decide to turn the TV on an hour later and spend that hour chatting with your partner. Whatever you need to do to make your available time align more with what matters most to you, do it! It is worth the effort.

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