A Valentine’s Day for All!

Valentines blog

Valentine’s Day can be a joyful, celebratory time for many happy couples.  Often it is a time to rejoice about the wonderful relationship you share with your partner.   Unfortunately, the media has pivoted this day into one that is often filled with pressure to perform for our lover via making sure we get the right card, gift or proper festive event.     However, this year my hope is that you will keep this day in perspective.  It is fine to honor your love on this designated day, however, know that the relationship requires honoring and work every day.

And let us not forget those who may not have a special someone in their life.  This day can be about the many that touch our lives, not just someone we call our “lover.” Reach out to someone you care about and let them know they are special.  Send a valentine card or note to your friends, family, children or anyone else that you appreciate.  Reach out to that person who recently lost their loved one or is experiencing difficulty in their relationship.

With the “hype” that goes into this day it can have a significant negative effect on those that do not share a loving relationship with a partner.   I encourage each of you to reach out beyond just the traditional notion of Valentine’s Day and spread the feeling of appreciation all around you.  It has been said, “The more you give, the more you get.” Give on!

Valentines Day Beyond The Traditional

Valentines Heart
Valentines Day can be a joyful, celebratory time for many happy couples. Often it is a time to rejoice about the wonderful relationship you share with your partner. The media has made this a very pronounced day for most. However, this year my hope is that you will have a little different perspective on this day. Enjoy and have a special day or evening with your valentine if you have one. However, remember those who may not have a special someone in their life. Reach out to someone you care about and let them know they are special. Send a valentine card or note to your friends, family, children or anyone else that you appreciate. Reach out to that person who recently lost their loved one or is experiencing difficulty in their relationship.

With the “hype” that goes into this day it can have such a negative effect on those that do not share a loving relationship with a partner. I invite you to alter the meaning of valentine’s to extend to all the ones that touch your life on a daily basis. I encourage each of you to reach out beyond just the traditional notion of Valentines Day and spread the feeling of appreciation to those around you. What a gift it would be to touch someone’s heart on this media promoted day of love. It has been said, “The more you give, the more you get.” Give on!

The Gift of Family During The Holiday?

family4blog
This time of year is associated with families reconnecting with ones that maybe they don’t see too many times during the year. Whether it’s parent’s grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins this time of year especially is when most are going to reconnect with the many facets of their family. And for many, and I am going to assume most, this is a wonderful, joyous time. And hopefully during your celebrations you enjoy each other and enjoy hearing new and old stories. And that overall you have a very pleasant experience fellowshipping together. That is my wish and hope for you.

And many are blessed with families that are safe, enjoyable, loving and encouraging. However, I do know that there are many out there that do not have these types of families. Although their families are alive and intact, sadly they do not experience them in positive, safe and encouraging ways. The holidays do not bring up joyful, exiting feelings for these people; rather conflict and discontent. Some choose not to spend the holidays with their families because the negative out weights the positive. And so I say to those of you in these situations, I hope you have safe and encouraging friends to support you during this time of year which is so focused on family.

Then there are those of us (and I include myself in this group) that have no family left. Our mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters have passed on before us and we don’t have that family history; our anchor, to include in our present day celebrations. Unless the ones we are with today were a part of that family it is our own loss to bear and the family of today seems oblivious to the empty space.

While many of us may have a family of our own; spouse, children, spouse’s family that we may be blessed with enjoying, it is still different. Good hopefully, but different. In my opinion, unless you have experienced this kind of loss it is very difficult to understand. It is especially hard when you lose your parents and siblings early and they miss out on the new life you have built for yourself.

So during this time of glad tidings, I pray that you will always remember that there are many that don’t have the blessing of family that you may have. And that you will keep those in your prayers that either don’t have a supportive family or whose family has left this earth. And possible even extend a holiday invitation to them to join your family for the holidays. A welcoming spirit is a most wonderful holiday gift!

Coping With a Difficult Love Relationship

If you are in a difficult relationship right now, particularly a love relationship, I implore you to do the best job you can in taking care of your own needs. Many long-term relationships are very stressful. In today’s times the many demands placed on our relationships can take their toll. Keeping good communication in your relationship can be challenging. I have found that a large problem in relationships are hurts that the couple or person have held on to without resolution over an extended period of time. Sometimes these hurts are just too deep for reconciliation. If you’re in a discouraging or frustrating relationship I encourage you to pay attention to your emotional, physical and spiritual needs. Reach out to other like-minded people for support. Find activities that you enjoy. Create a healthy spiritual life for yourself. If your relationship is not particularly supportive of your true essential self it is imperative that you find other means to find acceptance of this most vibrant part of you. The resolution to this relationship will come to you in time. While you are in the midst of this turmoil or difficulty take time to rejuvenate yourself in avenues that are available to you. Focus on the good that is available and not just on what is negative in your relationship. Focus on the positive friendships you have. Concentration on an activity you enjoy. Put energy into eating healthy and exercising. Remember the positive traits that are true about you. Try the best you can to create calm and wellbeing in the other areas of your life. Most importantly reach out for help and support.

Another Valentine’s Day!

Valentines Day can be a joyful, celebratory time for many happy couples.  Often it is a time to rejoice about the wonderful relationship you share with your partner.   The media has made this a very pronounced day for most.  However, this year my hope is that you will keep this day in perspective.  Enjoy and have a special day or evening with your valentine if you have one.  However, remember those who may not have a special someone in their life.  Reach out to someone you care about and let them know they are special.  Send a valentine card or note to your friends, family, children or anyone else that you appreciate.  Reach out to that person who recently lost their loved one or is experiencing difficulty in their relationship.  With the “hype” that goes into this day it can have such a negative effect on those that do not share a loving relationship with a partner.   I encourage each of you to reach out beyond just the traditional notion of Valentines Day and spread the feeling of appreciation all around you.  It has been said, “The more you give, the more you get.” Give on!

Deborah Day, M.A, LMHC, NCC, CP