Four Sure Ways To Sabotage Your New Year’s Resolutions!

sabotage 2

Sabotaging method number one:  Aim High!    While aiming high can be advantageous in many endeavors I find that New Year’s resolutions stand a better chance of succeeding when they are more specific and realistic.  After all, the goal is to succeed at achieving these resolutions, correct?  The popular resolutions often involve losing weight and exercising more.  Aiming high might be saying “I am going to lose 60 pounds by summer.”  Or “I am going to work out six days a week.”  I would recommend you set smaller goals such as committing to losing five pounds at a time until you get to a weight you are comfortable with.  Or committing to working out a minimum of three times per week.  These are very attainable goals that you are likely to achieve.

Being Spontaneous in and of itself is a wonderful ability.  However, when it comes to succeeding with your New Year’s resolutions you will need a plan.  The idea of losing weight or working out more or spending less money, etc. are just that:  great ideas.  To make them more tangible you will need a thought out plan of action.  How will you lose weight?  Are you going to use a certain diet program?  Have you researched the program and made sure it is for you?  Also, I suggest you have back up plan in case you don’t like the initial program.  Quitting isn’t an option so having a second choice gives you some flexibility!

Devaluing yourself is sabotaging method number three!  While it is true there will usually be too much to do and too little time you have to make a conscious decision to prioritizing yourself if you want to be successful with your goals.  You have to decide you are worth it!  No guilt tripping yourself!  You will have to make your new goals a high priority.  For instance, if you decided to start a diet program to lose weight then it is critical that during the first six weeks you arrange your life so that outside of work and family duties you will be focusing on making you and your program a top priority.  For example, I started on a new diet December 27 last year.  A friend of mine was having a New Year’s Eve party.  I chose not to go because I knew there was no way I could follow my strict food program there.  It would have been a quick trip down the failure road.

Lastly, the command “Be Independent” is another path to failing at meeting your new goals.  While learning to be independent in general is a good thing, when you are seeking to learn new behaviors now is the time to ask for help.  Find a partner or two who also want to achieve similar goals.  Whether it be diet buddies or workout partners reach out and ask for support.  It is important to have emotional support with your goals.  A person you can call or text who can encourage you and help you stay motivated.   Or maybe you need to ask for additional professional help such as hiring a personal trainer, using hypnosis, a life coach or even therapy.

Advertisements

Relaxation Is Just As Important As Working! Agree?

relaxation
Many of you are busy with numerous responsibilities during the week; the various work demands that most of you experience. Many of you are working well over forty hours a week. Then there are the multiple demands of family, children, household responsibilities and the like. Does it seem like all you do is go, go, go? And sometimes it is easy to get so used to the adrenalin of doing that you can forget how to relax and slow down.
The need for taking time to relax cannot be emphasized enough. According to Random House Webster’s College Dictionary relax can mean “to release or bring relief from the effects of tension, anxiety, etc.” And, “to become less tense, rigid or firm.” Sound good? Some of you may understand the importance of incorporating a way of relaxing into your life. However I am sure many of you find it too difficult to fit into your busy schedule.
Taking time to relax is the antidote to stress which is known to contribute to disease and general dissatisfaction in life. Relaxing on purpose slows your breathing down which helps relax your body. Your muscles have the opportunity to rest and it is good for your heart. The mental health benefits are ample. Your ability to focus, make decision and even your sleep may improve.
I understand that what is relaxing to each of you may be different. Some enjoy going to the beach, laying out in the sun and reading a book. Others find gardening relaxing. Maybe relaxing for you would be simply taking an hour nap in the middle of the day, or sitting and meditating. Or maybe you would be willing to treat yourself to a massage, facial, pedicure or acupuncture.
Although the demands of all your responsibilities are still lingering, you will be more refreshed, and I believe better equipped to handle the multiple burdens that life has for you. When you allow yourself the gift of relaxation, when you prioritize taking time for even a small amount of relaxation during your day or days off you will greatly benefit.
On your next day off or this weekend, I encourage you to allow yourself to have some genuine down time. Time when your mind is not listing the ten things you need to get done today. Time when you’re not physically moving about doing the many chores that need to get done. Time when you slow down your heart rate, breathing and movement. Time to actually do what is called-relaxing!
I encourage you to remember that you are important, that you matter and to put yourself on your own priority list. If you allow yourself the gift of relaxation this will aid you physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. You are in charge of making relaxation a part of your weekly ritual. Decide you are worth taking time to give your body, mind and spirit a well-deserved rest.

What Are The Voices Inside Your Head Telling You?

blog31
I encourage you to take a moment each morning and check in with your mind. Being aware of your thoughts is essential for feeling better in your life. Check in with the thoughts that are traveling around inside your head. Take notice. Each of us have chattering going on inside our heads and if you don’t pay attention to this chatter you may not be aware how much it may be hurting you. I encourage you to find a system of paying attention to your thoughts instead of letting them be on automatic pilot.
One of my favorite ways of helping people do this is to have them set the timer on their watch or cell phone to go off every one-half hour or one time per hour. The alarm will interrupt your routine. When the alarm goes off I want you to take a brief moment and listen to your thoughts. Notice if your thoughts or more critical or more nurturing. Even if all you do is notice, it will have impact. The second part of this is to replace the critical with something more positive. I don’t care if you believe the statement just try it out. Don’t over analyze this, just do it. Then move on with your day. If when you check in and your thoughts seems neutral or positive then affirm that thought, “It is nice to be patient with myself.” Then repeat the same when the alarm goes off again. This whole exercise takes around 10-15 seconds.
The goal is to adjust your thought so they project you in a positive direction? However, being aware of your thoughts so you can correct them is imperative to achieving this goal. Your thoughts have great power and provide energy to your day, your week, your life. Take a moment and be aware of whether these thoughts are in alignment with how you want your day to go. I encourage you to alter any thoughts that do not serve your highest good. If you do not take time to pay attention and change these thoughts, they will have the potential to unknowingly drag you down.
It is important not to minimize the power of your thoughts. I invite you to remember this truth. The truth being that you are good. That at heart you are good and have good intentions. Allow yourself to think thoughts that honor this truth about you. Allow yourself to have confidence in your ability. Give yourself the encouragement and motivation you need. Even one kind word to yourself can shift the energy within you and the energy that you send forth. Be on your own side.

What Do Your Investments Say About You?

blog12
What types of investments have you made in your life? Do you own your own home? Think of all the time and money that you have put into making your home the type of environment in which you want to abide. Maybe you devote a large amount of money in stocks, real estate, and other profit-producing endeavors. I imagine these take a good amount of your energies to ensure you are making the best investment for your money. Or maybe you invest great energy, time, and money into your career. How about your health? I know many individuals that spend long hours at health clubs and pay personal trainers a lot of money to help them stay fit. In fact, many sports cost a significant amount of money to participate in, even at an average level of performance. For instance, golf. Not only do you have to buy all the equipment and accessories, you usually have to take lessons, take time to play, and, of course, the more you learn, the better equipment you need. (At least that is what my husband says!)
I encourage you to take a moment and think of all the different endeavors that you invest your time, energy, and money. What do you notice about the areas in which you are making investments? What do they say about you? Are they in alignment with your values and goals? Are you happy with where you are putting your time and energy (and maybe your money)? How many of these investments are about you and what you need in order to be more fulfilled in your life? While some or all the areas you invest in may have a positive impact on you, one must ask, are you focusing on yourself enough? Are you making regular investments in yourself and your needs? If you don’t put the energy, time, and maybe money into becoming who you want to be, then who will? You matter and you deserve your attention.

Ways To Stop Sabotaging Yourself – Tip Five

marketing365
The crux of how you can stop sabotaging yourself is to start living intentionally and on purpose. Stop just reacting to life and start paying attention. That is the essence of being the active director of your life – paying attention. If you begin by consciously focusing on the four previous tips you will start to feel more satisfied. Being aware of your internal dialogue, identifying your values and goals, paying attention to your behaviors and being selective in your relationships are always your responsibility no matter what the circumstances are in your life.

Life ebbs and flows, sometimes in more pleasant ways than other times. Although there are many things about life in general that you cannot control, no matter what is occurring you always have a choice of how to respond. I think one’s true character come out during these difficult times. The more intentional you have been living when times are good, the better you will do during the difficult moments.

It is better to be more proactive than just reactive to what life throws your way. Sitting in the director’s chair in your life is the best avenue to feeling in control of your life. As you live more on purpose you will feel more at peace with yourself and often with others. Choose to live each day knowing that you and your life are your responsibility and that you deserve to live as full and complete as possible.

Take Time To Stop And Relax Now!

Only footprints

Many of you are busy with numerous responsibilities during the week; the various work demands that most of you experience.  Many of you are working well over forty hours a week.  Then there are the multiple demands of family, children, household responsibilities and the like.  It can seem like all you do is go, go, go.  And sometimes it is easy to get so used to the adrenalin of doing that you can forget how to relax and slow down.

As the weekend arrives I encourage you to allow yourself to have some genuine down time.  Time when your mind is not listing the ten things you need to get done today.  Time when you’re not physically moving about doing the many chores that need to get done.  Time when you slow down your heart rate, breathing and movement.  Time to actually do what is called-relaxing!

I understand that what is relaxing to each of you may be different.  Some enjoy going to the beach, laying out in the sun and reading a book.  Others find gardening relaxing.  Maybe relaxing for you would be simply taking an hour nap in the middle of the day, or sitting and reading a book.  Or maybe you would be willing to treat yourself to a massage, facial, pedicure or acupuncture.

Although the demands of all your responsibilities are still lingering, you will be more refreshed, and I believe better equipped to handle the multiple burdens that life has for you.  When you allow yourself the gift of relaxation, when you prioritize taking time for even a small amount of relaxation on your day or days off you will greatly benefit.

I encourage you to remember that you are important, that you matter and to put yourself on your own priority list.  If you allow yourself the gift of relaxation this will aid you physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.  You are in charge of making relaxation a part of your weekly ritual.   Decide you are worth taking time to give your body, mind and spirit a well-deserved rest.

A True Friend!

Friendships are the priceless gift that life grants us.  For those of you who are fortunate enough to have a handful of good friends, you are truly blessed.  A good friend is meant to bolster you; to encourage you to be your best self.  A true friend is not intimated by your grand nature.  I true friend only wants and strives for your best.  A genuine friend sees your short comings and encourages you through them instead of just pointing out what is defective in you.  That friend knows your good intentions and lovingly helps you to grow into your best self.  Your life is better for having this person in it. 

 With a good friend you work through difficult times together; not abandoning the other because times are tough.  A true friend is one of the anchors in life that helps you to claim yourself in this universe.  If you have several friends like this thank them today.  If your friendships don’t give you this then maybe you need to consider them more of an acquaintance rather than someone to really bear your soul to.  Being the active director of your life requires that you be able to judge which friendships encourage you and which are more of a burden.

 Moreover, what kind of friend are you?  Do you display these qualities to the ones you call “friend?”  Receiving this support merits giving this support.  I encourage you to be picky about the ones you call your close friends.  Your friendships ‘mirror’ you!  What do your friendships say about you? 

Deborah Day, M.A.

“The Empowerment Director”

  • Calendar

    • October 2018
      M T W T F S S
      « Mar    
      1234567
      891011121314
      15161718192021
      22232425262728
      293031  
  • Search