Is It Ok To Love All Of Me?

Tree in the shape of heart, valentines day background,
Self-love; most of us have heard this concept, but what is it really? You must love yourself before you can truly love someone else. How many times have you heard that one? But, what is this whole self-love thing? Does it mean that you should always praise, adore and shower yourself with gifts? Does it mean you think everything you do and say is wonderful? What connotations come to your mind when you think of self-love?

Here are some things I do know. We are not perfect. We are all human which means we all have human frailties. We all make mistakes. Mistakes are part of the way we learn. So, self-love is not about being perfect or performing perfectly. Self-love is more about accepting our imperfections and being compassionate about the fact of that we can and do make mistakes. Acknowledging that even though we make mistakes we are still ‘good’ is essential. The more you can accept that you are imperfect and yet still good, the more you will feel love and compassion towards yourself.

Self-love is about grasping that your essence is good. It is accepting that you are light, even though sometimes you feel dark. Accepting the ‘whole’ of you is a part of spiritual maturity. Learning to be gracious towards yourself in your non-perfect form is essential. Self-love is a consistent commitment to remembering who your authentic self is: good. Not perfect, but good. Your acknowledgement of your light and attention to your good is what helps to manage the dark.

For many this concept of being ‘good’ in essence is difficult to accept. It is during our very young formative years that our self-concept is formed. Our primary caretakers and other important people in our young lives lay the foundation of our beliefs about our self. At these young vulnerable years we are innocent to this indoctrination. If your caretakers mirrored negative, harmful, critical messages, then those are what you took on as true; whether consciously or unconsciously.

If you have trouble absorbing the concept of you being essentially ‘good’ then maybe your younger learning’s were more negative and are subconsciously still controlling your beliefs about yourself. The good news is that you weren’t born with these negative opinions. You can learn to bring these negative messages to your conscious mind and begin to correct them. It is an involved process that requires being very intentional. However, you can change your beliefs about yourself and slowly, consistently learn to belief the truth: that at your core you are good!

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