Stop Sabotaging Yourself – Tip Four!

Tree in the shape of heart, valentines day background,
Another hugely powerful key to stop sabotaging yourself is to be more selective in your relationships. Who are the people you spend most of your time with? How is the quality of those relationships? Do these relationships help you be a better person? Do these relationships encourage you or do they drain you? Are you doing more giving than receiving?

Our friendships mirror us. As do all of our relationships. They are reflections of who we are at some level. It is imperative that you take responsibility in all your relationship choices. Are your friendships in alignment with your values? Are they helping or hindering you in achieving your goals? The people you choose to spend close personal time with need to be people that encourage you more than discourage you. You do have the ability to manage who you give your energy to and who you don’t.

I often hear people say “well, you can’t pick your family,” which is true, however, that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate hurtful or inappropriate behaviors. Even with family you have to learn to set limits and boundaries. You can control how much time you spend with them and what activities you are comfortable participating in with them. You can create safer ways to interact with family members without having to extract them from your life.

I end with sharing this wonderful poem. Unfortunately, the author is unknown. I think this is a great analogy of our responsibilities in all our relationships:

Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives.
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.
It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not going anywhere relationships/friendships.
Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention.
Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are one a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people do you feel better or worse?
Which ones always have drama or don’t really understand, know, or appreciate you?
The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love, and truth around you,
The easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
If you cannot “change” the people around you, change the people you are around.

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