This Family of Mine

Talking about family relationships can dredge up a mixed bag of feelings for many people.  Some of you have happy memories from your family of origin; others, not so happy.   Since nobody can change their past, the best you can do is learn from it.  If you were blessed enough to have been raised in a family that overall provided you with a positive sense of security in yourself and the world, then you truly have been given a gift.  I implore you to be conscious of practicing those positive qualities with your loved ones now.  If you experienced consistent love, support and encouragement then you have the foundation for providing those qualities to your partner and any children you chose to bring into this world.

 Unfortunately, many of you were not so lucky to experience more positive than negative in your upbringing.  I understand that those earlier negative interactions have great impact on your development.  However, the good news is that each of you has the chose to do something about the ways you have been wounded in your upbringing.  You can heal and grow and make different choses for yourself.  Avoiding dealing with the negative aspects of your history will not help you live a better life today.  Seeking support to help you heal the wounds of your past so you can live more free today is a courageous and wonderful choice. 

 As you chose to address the ways you were injured you can then become more of the person you want to be.  If you have chosen to bring children into this world, it is important that you not let the ghosts of your past haunt your present.  At a minimum it is your responsibility not to pass on the same negative traits your caretakers demonstrated to you.  Work at being a better parent, rather than just winging it.  If you struggle with alcohol or drug addictions or addictions of any kind, get help!  If you have anger management issues, get help and stop acting-out with your children.   It is time to change.  No excuses.  Your children deserve the effort and you deserve a better life.

 It is never too late to be the parent, partner and person you want to be.  The important thing is that you do it!  It isn’t about being perfect; it is about making a sincere effort at improving.

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